Divorce is a challenging experience for spouses and, if they have children, it is exceptionally more difficult for them to cope with. How you choose to discuss this with them will have a major impact on their ability to adjust to the coming changes, so it is essential for you to start planning this conversation with your spouse now.
Although it may be a bit of an uphill battle to collaborate with your spouse on anything at the moment, it is important for your children to hear this news from both of you. Try to keep in mind that this is about their needs and not about your own, so set aside your differences to present a united front. It will make a big difference for them.
One of the most important things you and your spouse should keep in mind while breaking the news to your children is that you must never play the blame game. You likely have some very strong opinions as to whose fault this situation is, but it will not benefit your children to point fingers at each other, so you must both show some restraint.
It is also essential to choose an appropriate time for this conversation, preferably when the kids have plenty of time to process the information and ask questions. The weekend is generally an ideal time for discussing this matter.
Here are some additional tips you and your spouse should consider:
Try to ease your children’s anxieties by telling them what they can likely expect in the future. You might not have all the answers now, but share what you can.
– Make sure your children understand that nothing they did influenced the decision to get a divorce. It probably sounds like common sense to you, but children often experience guilt in these situations.
– Let your children know that although your marriage is ending, your love for them will remain the same.
– Without blaming each other or providing too many details, try to delicately explain why this is happening. Simply letting them know that you and your spouse will be happier apart because you cannot fix your relationship may suffice.
Before you have this conversation, briefly review what you plan to say with your spouse. You do not have to write out a script to follow, but you should agree on the key points you wish to address.
If you are getting a divorce and have children, this is likely a very difficult time for you. At Dale L. Bernstein, Chartered Law Office, our attorney is prepared to guide you throughout the process and provide the compassionate support you need. Backed by more than three decades of experience, you can rely on us to protect your interests.
Reach out to our law office today at (727)-862-4411 to set up an appointment and discuss your case.